The Alpha's Dilemma Read online

  “What are you doing back here, Ducky?” Declan winced a bit at the sound of his old nickname which sounded strange on this man’s lips.

  “I don’t know.” Declan sighed. “I guess I just needed a break from everything back home.”

  “Oh yeah? Things not going the way you’d hoped?”

  “You could say that.” Declan laughed at the simplicity of that statement, which tried to sum up everything he’d been going through. “What are you doing here?”

  Dustin smiled as he pulled out a chair from the table. It didn’t escape Declan’s attention that the chair he chose was the one his father used to sit in. And the one he used whenever his father actually made it home for dinner. He turned the chair so that the back was facing Declan, and he straddled it, pressing his chin into his arms.

  “Well, I saw you walking through the woods and I followed you here.”

  “Why were you just hanging out in the woods?” Declan asked, quickly growing suspicious of the situation.

  “You never figured it out, did you?” Dustin asked, leaning back.

  “Figured what out? What are you talking about?” He looked at his father with a raised brow.

  “Declan, did you know that when a wolf finds himself in deep trouble, he can return to his source for guidance? It’s like an autocorrect that’s set up in us. We all may have our own packs, but at the end of the day, we are all still one.”

  Declan stared at the man sitting before him. He’d known this man for one day —albeit the most important day of his life, but he knew nothing about him.

  “Are you the one who turned me?” Declan breathed.

  Dustin smiled again, and replied, “The one and only!” Declan could not believe this. He stood up from his chair suddenly and walked toward the door.

  “Woah, woah!” Dustin called out. “Where are you going?”

  “Away from here!” Declan yelled.

  “Why? What happened?”

  “What happened?” Declan turned on his heel to face the man who had made him into a wolf. “What happened? What happened is that you turned me into a wolf, and then instead of giving me any guidance or advice, I woke up all alone in the woods. Seemingly, forced to figure out what the hell was happening to me.”

  Dustin nodded as Declan spoke, as though he were ingesting every word he said. And that in itself, only infuriated Declan further. Declan resumed his walk away from the house.

  “Declan, come on. I’ll explain everything to you, I promise.”

  “There’s no need.” Declan huffed. “What’s done is done.”

  “But it’s not done, Declan, don’t you see? There’s a reason that you’re back here. There’s a reason why you found me.”

  “Look Dustin, I appreciate everything you did for me that day with my mom, I really do. And even though you left me with no one to help me figure out what the hell was happening to me, still, you turning me into a wolf was the best thing. The most blessed thing that could have ever happened to me. But right now, I’ve got to figure things out as far as what my next move should be.”

  “I’ve only killed one human my entire time being a wolf, Declan. Any guesses as to who that human was?”

  Declan froze in his spot. He already knew the answer, but he needed Dustin to say it out loud.

  “That’s right, Ducky,” Dustin said. “Your father is gone and has been gone for quite some time.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because, from the moment I met you as that scared, little, six-year-old boy, I knew that there was something significant about you. I tracked him down as soon as I left the hospital, which wasn’t hard to do because his stench was overwhelming. I made sure that you and your mother would never have to deal with that again.”

  “Well, gee thanks.” Declan rolled his eyes, unsure about how to feel in the moment.

  Dustin breathed in a ragged breath before continuing. He said, “But even still, I kept an eye on you both. I watched you grow up and I saw you overcome the obstacles that were thrown your way. I knew what you would eventually become Declan. But then, when your mother passed away, you nearly gave it all up and I couldn’t bear to watch that. So, I made the decision to change you. But I also made another decision —that would be the last time that I helped you. I needed you to figure things out on your own, without me there, so that I knew you’d be able to handle anything thrown your way.”

  “So, you left me out to dry.”

  “No, Declan.” Dustin laughed humorlessly. “I left you out to thrive.”

  Declan watched Dustin standing before him. They had locked eyes but neither man was willing to look away first —a true alpha versus alpha. It would have turned into a battle (had Declan still been able to transform). But once the reality hit him, he gave in, and turned away from the man he once considered his hero.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, Declan?”

  “I can’t tell you!” Declan sighed.

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “I can’t. I don’t even know what is going on, not anymore. My life has just been in a whirlwind lately. And I can’t seem to get a proper grip on things anymore. And now, I’ve had to give up my entire pack.”

  “Woah,” Dustin breathed. “What do you mean you’ve given up your pack? You’re the alpha!”

  “How do you know that?” Declan asked.

  “Well, I may have checked up on you once or twice.”

  Dustin smiled at Declan and Declan couldn’t help but feel slightly warm inside. He’d lived his whole life believing that only one person had ever cared for him —his mother. Now he realized that he was wrong.

  “Let’s go inside,” Declan suggested. “If I’m going to tell you my life story, I’d like us to be sitting down while we do it.” Dustin nodded and followed Declan inside of the house.

  The two men maintained their places at the kitchen table, and Declan spoke to Dustin about everything that had happened. He started with meeting Noelle and then led to Cassidy’s death, done by Noelle’s hand. He then explained about Noelle’s family all undergoing their initial change, and about his work with Edmund to create a cure for silver. Declan explained to him about the ritual, and how it was performed to find the alpha female of the pack.

  “So, when I rejoined the circle, the newest member called Romi approached me. She was to be the new female alpha.”

  “I don’t understand?” Dustin said, after listening to Declan’s story. “Why would you leave your pack if you just found a new mate?”

  “Well,” Declan said slowly, “I wasn’t able to turn anymore.”

  Dustin stared at his counterpart from the opposite side of the table and then he unexpectedly burst into laughter. Declan furrowed his eyebrows, confused by his reaction.

  “Declan, you can’t be serious?”

  “I am serious,” Declan said, beginning to feel self-conscious about admitting this to Dustin. As soon as Dustin saw that Declan was not joking, he quickly sobered up.

  “I don’t understand,” Dustin said. “I have never heard of this before. A werewolf who cannot transform? This is unprecedented.”

  “Yeah, well. I feel like an outcast.” Declan sighed. “I guess if it was going to happen, it was bound to happen to me.”

  “Oh, come on, Declan. Don’t be such a martyr. Let’s figure out what the hell happened so that we can fix this and get you back to where you belong.”

  “I think I already know what happened,” Declan admitted. “And if I am right, I don’t know that there is a way to fix this.”

  Declan proceeded to explain about the cure that Edmund had offered to him. He told Dustin about how it happened, and that after drinking it, the wound he’d inflicted on his palm as a test had not healed.

  “So, what you’re saying is,” Dustin spoke slowly to be sure his words were deciphered, “you’re human again?”

  Declan nodded and said, “Yeah, you could say that.”

  Noelle slept throughout the r
est of the afternoon and into the next morning. She woke up in a cold sweat as figments of a nightmare flittered around her eyes and mind. She closed her eyes and stayed still in an effort to recall the dream, but to no avail. All she remembered was that Edmund was standing there, looking at her with a wary expression.

  She stood up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom. Splashing cool water against her face, she finally saw what the past week had done to her. She had bags under her eyes and her hair was grimy and frizzy all at one time. She gripped the edge of the sink in an effort not to scream at the top of her lungs.

  There was a knock at the door and Noelle quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. She coughed a bit to recover her throat from the potential cracking. The annoying noise that always seemed to happen when she cried.

  “Who is it?” Noelle cried out, grateful that she sounded normal.

  “It’s Mom,” Abigail called out. “I’ve brought you a towel. I thought maybe you’d like to take a shower.”

  Noelle opened the door to her mother and she took the towel from her hands before giving her a tight hug. Ever since she was a child, her mother always seemed to know exactly what Noelle needed to feel better, without her ever having to say anything at all. Her mother offered her a soft smile and nodded toward the bathroom. She did it as if the room was waiting for her return.

  “Take your time,” she said. Then Abigail turned to leave the room and shut the door gently behind her.

  Noelle walked back into the bathroom and started the shower. She turned the water so hot that the bathroom was steamy in a matter of minutes. As she stepped in, the water burned against her skin but soon she fell, numbed to its heat. She imagined that she scrubbed away every inch of her skin that had contact with Edmund.

  She hated herself for falling for him so quickly; she hated herself for betraying Declan so readily. But what she hated above everything else was the fact that, despite everything, she still felt connected to Edmund in a way that made her feel bad for him.

  She thought back to the day when she had the knife pressed to his throat. His father looked at Edmund, his only son, as though he were a mere sheep meant for the slaughter. Noelle couldn’t imagine what could have happened in that family that could cause a father to hate his own offspring so vehemently. And even though Edmund had chosen the wrong side, ultimately Noelle could almost understand why he had done it —so desperate for acceptance from his father.

  But still, he had kidnapped her and forced her to give her blood. He had acted cruelly to her and looked at her as though she was some annoyance that he could live without. Then, she remembered how he looked at her when she was escaping the cabin and how he had urged her to go. Noelle was so conflicted over Edmund and she didn’t know who she could talk to —who in the world would understand their situation in its entirety?

  She finished her shower and stepped outside. As the cool air hit her, a wave of dizziness fell over her and she had to lean against the wall for support. It seemed every time she started to feel bad for Edmund, she was quickly reminded of how much the experience had drained her.

  Noelle walked into the room with the towel wrapped tightly around her body. Her hair was dripping against her back and she scoured her mother’s wardrobe for something to wear. She finally settled on a pair of jeans that were a little too big, and a t-shirt that boasted the name of a band she’d never heard of. She wrapped her hair in the towel on top of her head and walked out into the living room.

  “Good morning, sleepy head,” her father said cheerily.

  “Good morning.” Noelle smiled as she walked over to him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

  “Your mother has made you some breakfast, so go and eat. Once you’re done, we have something we want to show you.”

  “I don’t know if I can handle any more surprises.” Noelle laughed.

  “Oh, I think you’ll like this one.” Garett beamed a smile at his daughter.

  Noelle walked into the kitchen and her stomach grumbled loudly at the sight of the scrambled eggs and pancakes her mother had prepared. Traditionally, Noelle would have teased her mother for making such a large breakfast, but today she honestly felt as though she could eat it all.

  She sat down at the table and started eating slowly. She looked over at her parents who were discussing something serious. She could tell from the way their bodies were hunched over and by the way that they whispered to each other. She was only able to catch a few words here and there.

  As she finished her meal, she picked up the plate and put it into the sink. Once more, a wave of dizziness hit her and she felt as though she was going to be sick.

  “Noelle?” her mother asked from the doorway. “Are you alright?”

  “I think so,” Noelle responded trying to recover herself. “I’ve just been getting really dizzy. I guess all the excitement from the past week has really taken a toll on me.”

  “Yes, well, that’s what your father and I were hoping to discuss with you,” Abigail said slowly. “We understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but we would like to know what happened while you were there.”

  Noelle nodded and walked over to the couch where her father sat patiently waiting for the two women to join him. “What do you want to know?” Noelle asked.

  “Why don’t you start from the beginning?” her father said quietly.

  She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he was carefully studying her body language, so she sat up straighter and held her chin a little higher. She did it in an effort to look stronger than she felt at that moment in time.

  “Well, I came here after Nana’s funeral because Edmund had told me he needed to discuss something important. While we were in the lab, he knocked me out with some kind of sleeping solution —chloroform, I guess. When I came to, I was in his father’s office at their house. It was there that he started telling me all about Noelise and Annabelle, and this whole thing about hybrids. He told me that my blood was the missing ingredient, and that he needed it in order to complete the cure he was working on. The one for everyone.”

  As she said this last part, she noticed her father glance at Abigail and they exchanged a curious look.

  “What is it?” Noelle asked.

  “Sweetie, last night when you fell asleep, I was beginning to tell you about Declan and what we think might have happened.”

  “What happened?” she pressed, feeling her heart race.

  “Edmund had given him a cure saying that it would protect him from silver. He told Declan, that if he took it, anything that might have done him harm would no longer have an effect on him,” her mother explained.

  “Well, Declan came here and he swallowed the entire vile. He then took a silver blade and passed it over his hand. And, to our amazement, the silver from the blade did not have any serious effect on him,” her father continued.

  “What an idiot!” Noelle yelled. “What was he thinking? What if the cure hadn’t worked and he just poisoned himself? I’m going to kill him myself when I find him, I swear.”

  “Honey,” Abigail said softly, “there’s more.” Noelle looked at her mother carefully. Abigail could tell by the look in her eyes that Noelle was not going to like what she had to say.

  “The cut on his hand never healed,” her father continued. “We saw him at the ritual and he still had his hand covered with a bandage.”

  “So, what are you saying?” Noelle asked quietly, although she already knew what they were going to say.

  “Noelle,” her mother said, “the cure he gave him was not for silver. We think it was the cure that you had asked for. It was the cure meant for werewolves to turn into humans again.”

  “But…” Noelle breathed a sigh. “Edmund said that cure could not work for wolves who had already turned.”

  “That was before he had your blood,” Garett said quietly.

  Noelle fell back against the couch as a new feeling washed over her. It wasn’t dizziness and it wasn’t confusion —it was
a pure and volatile guilt that plagued her. Had this been all her fault? She was the one who had requested the cure in the first place. She was the one whose blood had made the cure possible.

  “That was before he had your blood.”

  Chapter 5

  The Pack

  “He needed to find Noelle.”

  Declan leaned back against his chair and observed the different emotions crossing over Dustin’s face. It was clear that Dustin was having just as much trouble as Declan in accepting the truth of the matter.

  “I’m sorry,” Dustin grumbled. “I’m just having a really tough time understanding all of this.”

  “You and me both, friend.” Declan sighed.

  He wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation he was in. He finally met the man who turned him into a wolf, and now he was no longer a wolf. All of those fantasies of going out on hunts and learning from another wolf how things were done, became wisps; unreachable ideas that were floating in the space above him. Literally, out of reach, like clouds above his head.

  “So, this doctor guy, he tells you that he has the cure for silver. You give him literally half a million dollars to make the cure. And then he turns around and gives you a quote-unquote ‘cure’ which actually made you a human.”

  “That’s how it seems, yes.”

  “Okay,” said Dustin definitively. “This is simple then. We find that guy and we make him change you back.”

  “I don’t think it’s that simple.” Declan let out a frustrated groan.

  “Why not? I mean nothing about this situation says simple, exactly. But that solution seems pretty viable to me.”

  “Because I think I know what cure he gave to me,” Declan explained. He went on to tell Dustin about Noelle and her request for a cure to change her family back. He said, “The only thing I can’t seem to understand, is that he told us once the transformation had become complete by turning into the wolf form, you wouldn’t be able to use the cure. He said it wouldn’t work. So, I guess my half a million dollars went toward him figuring out how it could work.”