The Alpha's Dilemma Read online

  “Please,” Noelle said calmly, “I’ll be fine.”

  Her parents shared one final concerned look before turning away toward the door of the basement. Noelle looked at Edmund who was wearing a wary expression. He looked more worried now than when it had been three against one, and in a way, that made Noelle feel better.

  “Noelle?” Edmund said softly, pain clearly visible on his face.

  “Why, Edmund? Why would you betray me like this?”

  “I told you, Noelle. It wasn’t to hurt you. I didn’t ever want to betray you. It had to be done for the greater good. Don’t you see that?”

  “No.” Noelle shook her head. “I don’t see that. What I see is a liar before me. You could have told me the truth about the ‘council rebels,’ as my father called them. You could have told me the truth about your research and about the cures you were trying to create. If you had explained it all to me from the beginning, we could have figured it out together.”

  Edmund shook his head in disbelief. “You wouldn’t have believed me. I didn’t think that you would believe me…”

  “You didn’t even give me the chance to try to believe you.” Noelle sighed. “There’s something else that I have wanted to ask you.”

  “What is it?”

  “The night that you and I spent together,” Noelle said slowly, “was that all part of your plan as well? Did that mean nothing to you?”

  “How can you look at me and ask me that question?” Edmund sat back on his heels and Noelle saw real hurt in his eyes. “Every moment I spent with you was as real for me as it was for you. That is what made this situation even harder. I had feelings for you, Noelle. I still do.”

  In one deft motion, Edmund pressed his lips against Noelle’s. He kissed her softly and she could taste the sorrow in his kiss —a sorrow which mourned what could have been, and what should be.

  Noelle broke free from the kiss first and she looked at him. The first time she had met Edmund’s lips, she was filled with excitement and joy. It had triggered an emotion in her that she had never really known before. But this kiss was poisoned by betrayal, and she did not want to have that taste lingering in her mouth.

  “Is there something wrong with me?” Noelle asked and she watched as the hopeful expectation drained from Edmund’s eyes. He had hoped that their interaction would have sparked her trust in him, but it fell flat.

  “I’m not sure,” Edmund said quietly. “I’d like to do a blood test to see if anything might be going on.”

  “You want to take my blood?” Noelle asked, her eyes huge and wild with disbelief.

  “I just want to see it under the microscope, Noelle. You can even dispose of it yourself once I am done, to see that I am not using it for any other reason.” Noelle hesitated, but finally she nodded in agreement.

  Edmund walked over to the large tarp that had covered his equipment. He pulled it off carefully, revealing his set up nearly untouched. He looked over at Noelle, an unspoken question on his face.

  He picked up a needle from the table and proceeded to disinfect it very thoroughly. Edmund walked to Noelle and wrapped a rubber band tightly around her upper arm. She took a deep breath as he inserted the needle into her arm. He clicked a tube into place and she watched as her blood quickly filled the tube.

  It was done in an instant. He applied pressure to the site where the needle had stuck her and pulled it out gently. He untied the band and handed Noelle a small cloth to press to her arm to stop the bleeding. Edmund looked at her, and for a moment, Noelle thought that he was going to kiss her again. He lingered for a moment more before standing and walking over to his equipment.

  Noelle stood shakily, becoming aware of how weak her body felt. She walked slowly over to Edmund, more out of fear that she might faint again, rather than anything else. She watched him as he pulled out a small, clear tray and placed a few drops of her blood onto it. He put another tray on the top and slid it underneath the microscope.

  Edmund pulled a chair over to the table and spent several minutes adjusting the microscope and the light so that he could get a better view of what he wanted to see. Finally, it seemed the microscope was in the right position. He craned his head to the left and then to the right.

  Noelle watched as Edmund leaned forward to peer into the lens, and then she watched as his jaw tightened and untightened. He lifted the microscope a few inches and then lowered it a bit. Noelle observed how he pulled his bottom lip into his teeth as he concentrated on the sample below. The room was silent and still, other than the steady breathing of Edmund and the labored breathing of Noelle.

  Noelle was about to ask him if he was able to see anything when Edmund’s mouth dropped open and he gasped. “Oh, my god!”

  Declan walked back to the campgrounds in silence. He was deep in thought about everything that Dustin had said to him about his mother, and about his role as alpha. He had never thought about it as something he’d been born with. Something already inside of him; he wanted to learn more about it.

  Dustin had gone off ahead of him in order to organize the pack’s hunt for tonight, but Declan was going to ask him to explain more once he returned. No one was sitting by the fire pit and so Declan sat down there to try to clear his mind, and to think about everything that had happened more clearly. He hoped that he might be able to come up with a plan.

  He stared at the ashes, it was the only evidence of the large fire they’d burned the night before. Declan sat there for a few minutes, finally starting to enjoy the nature around him. He heard the chirping of the birds as they spoke happily to one another in passing. He closed his eyes and felt the slight breeze brush against his face, and he smiled in the majesty of it all. It seemed inherent for a human to forget all the beauty around them, when they were (literally) so wrapped up in their own minds. As a wolf, in his truest form, Declan was able to succumb to the world around him and become one with it, drawing strength from the earth itself. In the moment, he was reminded of how that felt.

  “Hi, little Ducky.”

  Declan’s eyes shot open and he came face to face with a younger boy who was laughing. Declan looked around and saw a group of two boys (and a girl) standing nearby. They were snickering along with the boy. Realizing that the boy was making fun of Declan’s nickname that his mother used, Declan stood up from his seat. Although he didn’t feel as large as he once did, his physical stature had not changed, and he still towered over the boy.

  The boy’s grin slipped slightly but only enough that Declan noticed. The boy looked back at his friends and they all started laughing all over again. “Need help finding the pond, Ducky? You look a little lost.”

  “I suggest that you walk away,” Declan said quietly. “Now!”

  “Or else what?” the boy taunted.

  “Or else you might regret the day you learned my name.”

  “What’s that? Ducky?”

  Declan smiled, but it was born of malice and he could see the boy take a few involuntary steps backward.

  “What are you going to do, Ducky?” the boy continued. “You going to try to fight me?”

  “Do you think it’s wise to resort to that so quickly?” Declan asked, remaining in his position.

  “Oh, come on. Like a stupid human could really stand up against me.” The boy laughed, regaining some of his confidence. “You wouldn’t last a minute.”

  “I don’t need to last a minute,” Declan said. “By the looks of you, all I’d need is about twenty seconds.”

  Declan started taking a few steps toward the group. He noticed that the rest of the crew had stopped laughing now. Apparently, this scene was not as funny to them as they had assumed it would be.

  “Well, okay,” said the boy, his voice cracking on the last word.

  Declan closed the space between himself and the boy and he could feel a familiar tingling sensation in his skin. The boy looked at him and his mouth dropped open.

  “What the?” the boy whispered. His other three friends darte
d away from Declan, leaving him standing over the boy.

  “I take it that you’re probably a newbie at this, huh?” Declan asked, wearing a grave expression. “Take it from me, I’ve been around a long time and it’s never worth it; to pick a fight with someone you don’t know. Next thing you and your friends should learn is pack loyalty. No true werewolf would ever leave behind a pack member like that. So, I may not be able to transform right now, but I am still more of a werewolf than you will ever hope to be.”

  The boy nodded stupidly as Declan spoke. His eyes were wide and he sensed that Declan was someone very powerful. Any werewolf who was taunted by him would know that truth.

  “Now, walk away before you give me those twenty seconds I need for a third lesson.” The boy turned on his heels and fled the scene, leaving Declan standing there, alone again.

  Declan walked back to his seat and tried to resume his contemplation, but that encounter had thrown him off. He dragged his hands through his hair and laughed quietly to himself. How many times had he had to put a new werewolf in his place? The boys may have been different, but their actions were always the same. Identifying someone they considered weak, so that they could test out their new strength. And Declan had always said the same thing, “Real strength does not come from a victory, but rather from choosing defeat when victory could have been easily won.”

  Declan thought back to the young boy from his own pack who had gotten into trouble for injuring someone in school —and with a bittersweet heart, Declan realized that he could not even remember the boy’s name. Where had his tough love been when he ripped the boys head from his body as a lesson? Where had this theory of accepting defeat come into play? Declan shook his head as he thought about how far he had fallen. A massive gap from the leader that he always dreamed of becoming.

  Dustin’s voice pulled him out of his reverie. Declan looked up at Dustin’s expectant face and he realized that Dustin must have asked him something. “What was that?” Declan asked.

  “I said, that I heard you put one of my new members in his place just now.” Dustin laughed. “You scared the shit out of the poor kid.”

  “I don’t know how.” Declan sighed. “All I said were empty words.”

  “That’s not what I heard.” Dustin smiled but he offered no further explanation.

  Declan grabbed his chance to inquire about the wolf born inside of him. “I was hoping you might explain something to me,” Declan said thoughtfully. “I am interested to know more about this idea of having a wolf inside of me, even before I was changed. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I can’t help but feel like maybe, everyone is born like this?”

  Dustin sat down next to Declan and stared into the trees across the way. He looked thoughtful as though he was considering his words carefully before he spoke them out loud.

  “It is an ancient Native American belief,” Dustin began. “That every man is born with two wolves inside of his soul. They say that there is one good wolf and one bad. Every man has good inside of him, but he also has evil as well.” Dustin looked at Declan. “It is our choice which wolf we want to feed. Who do we want to become? Someone of goodness or someone of evil? That is our free will, of course. We are all given the option to decide that. And keep in mind that while one wolf may grow stronger than the other, the other wolf never ceases to exist. At every opportunity, he will rear his head and remind us of that piece of our self, and we must choose, again and again. Choose which one to give in to.”

  Declan looked at Dustin as he gazed off into the distance once again. He was glad to listen to his words.

  “The day I killed your father,” Dustin continued, “that was the day I gave into the evil inside of me. The bad wolf got its taste for blood and he hungered for more. It took me some time to get back on track. Luckily, I had Maria by my side to pull me together. She kept me from falling into the abyss, as it were. She showed me how to focus all of my energy on creating something positive from the situation. And so, you became my focus.”

  Declan smiled, hoping that this would be enough to show his gratitude. He had spent enough time with his father to know what a bad man looked like, but he had never had a model to show him how to make the right decisions. Little did he know, there was an angel in disguise that had been guiding him all the while.

  “You said that you knew from the moment you met me that I was meant to be a wolf, an alpha. How did you know?” Declan asked.

  “You just know,” Dustin answered. “There is something in your soul that connects you with another on a deeper level. There is a reason why I pulled over that day when nobody else even saw you. There is a reason why I was so willing to follow you into the woods to help you. You had a choice that day, Declan. You could have given into the crippling fear that was threatening to immobilize you, but you decided not to. You fought against it and you saved your mother.”

  “I never thought about it that way,” Declan said softly.

  “Of course, you didn’t,” Dustin chuckled. “Which shows again your true nature. You do not make decisions based on how others might view it, or how it might affect you. You just decide because you know what is right.”

  “Trust me, my friend, you have been an alpha since the day you were born.”

  Chapter 8

  The Meeting

  “Once again, she found herself face to face with an impossible decision.”

  “What is it?” Noelle asked, looking at Edmund. He would not turn to look at her despite the obvious urgency in her voice. “What do you see, Edmund?”

  “Noelle,” Edmund responded quietly, “come here and take a look at this.”

  Noelle walked closer by Edmund and leaned forward, placing her eye against the lens of the microscope. She did not see anything and she was growing impatient as she waited to find out what he discovered.

  “Just wait for it,” Edmund whispered.

  Noelle suddenly realized just how close he was, standing next to her. She tried not to let his breath (that was tickling her ear) distract her from her blood, sitting beneath the scope.

  Out of nowhere, she saw a blur fly across the screen. She leaned back quickly and blinked a few times to clear her vision. “Did you see it?” Edmund asked, watching her expression carefully.

  “I’m not sure,” Noelle admitted. “All I saw was a blip kind of thing? Like something flew really fast underneath the lens or something.”

  Edmund shook his head. “No, no, Noelle. That was in your blood sample that you saw the blip, as you call it. Do you realize what is happening?”

  Noelle stared at Edmund dumbly as she waited for him to explain further. She wasn’t a scientist and had no real interest in the subject, apart from general stuff that may or may not have intrigued her over the years.

  “Okay,” said Edmund, obviously struggling to remain calm, “let me back up here and try to explain this as simply as I can.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Noelle grumbled.

  Edmund shot her a warning look and she pretended to zip her lips shut, and mocked throwing away the key. He rolled his eyes and then cleared his throat theatrically before he started to explain.

  “I’ve kind of explained this before when I talked to you about how the cure would work for werewolves —or almost werewolves. The one to turn them back into humans. The elixir would go in and essentially it would break apart the werewolf genes, making them weaker. This then allows the human genes to rekindle themselves and voila! Does that make sense so far?”

  “I guess so?” Noelle said, more as a question than an answer.

  “Okay, well, this is your blood that we are looking at. And that blip —ugh, how can I say this so that it makes sense?”

  Edmund turned frustrated, looking toward the wall. Then he turned to resume, facing Noelle as though a light bulb had gone off in his head.

  “Think of it this way! That blip that you saw was like a bomb exploding, because right now, your genes are at war.” Edmund beamed at her, visibly pleased with the
metaphor he had concocted, but Noelle felt more lost than ever.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean? That my genes are at war?” Noelle asked growing agitated.

  “Noelle,” Edmund said excitedly, “you’re a true hybrid now. You have completed your first transformation, but the human genes in your body are not just rolling over on this one! No, those suckers are fighting back big time. Fighting against the new werewolf genes that have come to town.”

  “Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Noelle said, sitting down again. “So, you mean to tell me that I am not a werewolf, but I am not a human either?”

  “What did you think I meant when I told you that you were a hybrid?”

  Now it was Noelle’s turn to roll her eyes. “Well, I know the technicalities behind it. I just figured, you know, that both sides would kind of mesh together. You know? Not that there would be an epic battle happening inside of me making me faint all over the place.”

  “Well, if my theory is correct, the side effects should lessen the more and more you transform. That’s because your wolf genes will only grow stronger. Or of course, there is another option,” Edmund said slowly.

  “What’s that?” Noelle asked.

  “You could take the cure,” Edmund said looking straight into her eyes. “You could become a full-on human again.”

  His words hung between them like a bridge connecting Noelle with Edmund. Once again, she found herself face to face with an impossible decision. One way could lead her into Edmund’s arms again, but she was not sure if that’s where she wanted to be at all. The other way could lead her back to Declan. But which way would lead her to herself?

  “Do I have to make that decision?” Noelle asked quietly.

  “I’m afraid so, Noelle,” Edmund said, finally turning to break their gaze. “The longer you wait to decide which side to choose, the weaker you will become.”

  Noelle nodded as though what he said made complete sense. There was a loud knocking belting at the door, and Noelle’s parents peered inside of the basement.